Today is going to be sort of an update about me, my blog, and just a quick informal chat about some of the things I appreciate. When it comes to mental health, it is different for everyone and always a battle often times. I also was unsure about what I wanted to talk about today, because I am feeling some burnout (except for my vtuber spotlights, which I am very excited for) as well as new scheduling. Let us jump on into it!

What I appreciate.

I want to start off my post with what I appreciate. First and foremost, I became a vtuber and a blogger after a terrible falling out at my very first job ever. I felt betrayed upon leaving not just by the employer, but by family as well. All they worried about was whether I could find something else asap so I could start paying them rent, and not worried about how the job was treating me.

Because of this and the reason that I like writing, and the idea of being a vtuber and other vtubers, I created this blog. This was my starting grounds to the brand that would be me. I want to be myself and very transparent about me with my content. When it comes to me, I just want to be a kind, listening individual who advocates for equality and love when I can. No matter your race, or sexuality. I am very appreciative that many have noticed and returned kindness back to me. There are a lot of vtuber friends I have made through this journey, that is still going don’t fret. I had one vtuber, Maya, say something really really kind to me today that sort of made my day and it reminded that, although I am in a mini funk lately, I have a lot to appreciate. So thank you to all of you as well who stop by and read what I write and to those who comment and like I really really notice and appreciate it.

I would not say that before I started that writing was my passion, but when it comes to my life I find myself typing a lot. When it comes to text message, I was always writing something and sending something so I finally realized I was good with typing and might want to make something of it. To be able to sustain myself doing something I love, while spreading that love. Hence why vtuber spotlights are my favorite articles by far to write. and with that said, I do plan eventually to monetize my blog, if I ever reach a point where it may be profitable. I really do not want to bog down the reading experience with too many ads or anything though, because all of your reading experiences is important to me as well!! So I guess all in all I want to leave off here saying I just appreciate that I have an audience, no matter how big or small I really appreciate that there is something I can create that others can enjoy!

Mental health.

Lately I have been waking up, and for some reason my mind tells me that I am not making any progress. This of course is not true in the slightest. I do not know why emotionally I feel that way, but just a couple months back I had no audience whatsoever. No one knew I existed and I can’t believe that I am already this far along. I really am so grateful to you all, over on twitter, here on wordpress, from just google pop ups, anything and everything. I tell myself all those things but I know that my emotions say the opposite.

I had started seeing a mental health expert at the start of this year around April. I then was diagnosed with severe social anxiety, it was a wonder I was able to get a job and work to begin with. She did not prescribe me medication yet, but I do have supplements and exercises that I do. One is telling myself that things are ok and trying to change a pessimistic view to an optimistic one. I am also apparently having PTSD nightmares about my past that I am working through, so some days I will wake up with much worse anxiety on those days that others. It seemingly happens randomly, but my expert said that my brain wants to work through those moments and that is why I have them.

Because of all that, I am still working and pushing myself every single day. Through interacting here and on twitter I find that I am actually able to talk to strangers miles better than I could before. I can hold awkward conversations with store clerks when they want of course now instead of staying silent, and I am learning a new skill that gives me confidence in myself. Mental health is tough, because often times we feel we just need a break, but taking a break can totally offset all the hard work being done to improve it. So just seeing so many kind people online has given me the change in heart to keep on trying and interacting.

My blog.

So what is changing about my blog? Not a whole lot I would say. I think that I want to start focusing more on 2 big hitting topics in the week. One that will never change is my vtuber spotlights. I have way too much fun just doing those on my own to let those go, and possibly some indie game spotlight. I love the indie game scene a lot and I think the only thing that stopped me from doing it was me being worried gamedevs would be less receptive to the idea than vtubers. I would need to come up with some good questions to ask them as well to keep it interesting as well though. I may still parse in my older review content here and there, but the reason I may want to shrink my publish days, is because on top of learning pixel art, I my vtuber png is almost done and I am going to start creating some youtube content with it as well. So I may need to cut down to my essential posts to continue all the activities I am doing. I have also thought about streaming some of my pixel art with no microphone as well when I get my png as well, but I am unsure.

Closing.

Sorry for the scuffed article today I just wanted to keep everyone up to date on what is happening. I also want to say that there is no vtuber spotlight this week because of complications, but there will be one next week for sure. I hope you guys will stay tuned for that I hope you all enjoyed this read for what it is. If you did please give me a follow over on twitter, or here as well means a lot to me. I realize I have not interacted as much with my wordpress community, and I plan to change that in the coming days for sure. If you comment directly here tho, I have and always will be sure to get back to you and I notice every like and even every view and I hope you all have a wonderful day.