I finally found the term that describes what I have been going through in 2020-2021. I want to talk about my experience and hope that it can brighten up someone else’s day or let them know they are not alone. Many of us will face this in the coming years if you are around the college age or even before, so know there are others out there feeling the same way.

What is a quarterlife crisis?

It is when you are unsure of the direction you want your life to go. This happens often time to people like me who went through college and graduated, but found that what they originally thought they would do with life is abruptly shattered. It is when those around the age of 25 are asking themselves what they want out of life. Many times this happens when you graduate and find yourself not in the field you studied, or found that the field you studied does not live up to how you perceived it.

My recent experience with quarterlife crisis.

I still love psychology and I love mental health. I love spreading awareness and telling people that more often than not, things will be ok. I love helping them and hoping that I can bring that light back to their eyes and help them through a tough time. I still think that the subject itself like ideas on memory and sleep are fascinating and amazing scientific achievements. Yet, I felt that I would be more ready to practice it than I was when I graduated.

Graduating with a bachelors of arts in psychology, I always thought that I would do what my uncle told me and go into school psychology. I recently called a school that I felt would have been perfect and the admissions office sent me over some papers detailing the program and the costs. I thought that I would love it but when talking I had a feeling in my gut that it might not have been exactly what I wanted. I realized I went along with someone else’s recommendation without even looking into the profession of school psychology. I found immediately a statistic that “As it turns out, school psychologists rate their career happiness 3.0 out of 5 stars which puts them in the bottom 34% of careers” (Career explorer). I thought oh wow that is really low to be in the bottom 34% let me find out why.

As I researched the position more I found out exactly why. Many school psychologists feel the same way I felt, that on paper when they were told they would help kids and make a difference in their formative years, they were shown only the good side of the profession. Behind the curtain, there would be many issues that cause immense fatigue, stress, and anxiety. Even though the pay is great many work themselves to death and lose sleep over the simple amount of work they have to do. They find working with the kids great but the school admin, not so much. All the meetings and often 2 minute lunches as they rush to another school to do more tests incredibly stressful. If I was unable to handle the work life balance that my previous office assistant job brought to the table, I felt that I would be unable to handle this as well.

I went through my younger years just going through the motions. As a kid there is no real need to ask yourself what is next, but by the time you come close to graduating high school many ask what next in terms of college. For me it was simple my parents knew a good path and it indeed was a good one. I would go to community college then transfer to the uni. This was a great path and I was happy going there and even with my major itself. I thrived and achieved a GPA of 3.69. Graduation hit, however, and it was finally time for me to start thinking about what next. My father wanted me to start working and I did not know what I wanted. So I took a year off about and applied to jobs like anyone would, just to make money.

Little did I forget that I have a massive social anxiety issue. I have many that I always felt I needed to get help for. My parents never really encouraged that and said that I look happy so it is fine. Anxiety, especially social, often goes unrecognized and dismissed as shy. I have yet to have an official diagnosis on how strong or bad it is, but I am seeking help. I am in the process of seeing a therapist and I will ask her when we finally connect if a psychiatrist diagnosis should be made. Regardless, it was finally time for me to ask myself what I need and what I want out of life and I have been left clueless. I would love to be able to live full time off of blogs and me and my partners cosplay business, but my parents do not see that as a good, typical way of life. I could also look into private practice psychology, where I wont have to work for anybody as that is my issues with school psychology, not setting my own schedule or diagnosing how I want.

Some things to realize if you are in the same boat as me.

Realize that this is becoming a natural and common phenomenon. Realize your worth and what you might want out of life. Start asking yourself and looking here and there so that you do not stress yourself to the point you can’t sleep and get a migraine like I did. Realize that it is ok to live at home for the time being and that you can find solace in those around you. Ask them for advice and reach out, there will always be those who care or are willing to at least lend and ear to help you out. Lastly, remember to take care of your mental health first and foremost, your life has many directions it can go, but no matter which way it may go it is always worth living.

Closing.

First and most important I want to leave you all with a suicide prevention website that has a collection of phone numbers for countries around the world, so please if you or anyone you do know seems like they are at risk please check this site out (https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines).I am working on getting more suicide prevention resources so if you know any, please do comment them below or let me know on twitter as well as other comments you may have. Have you gone through similar or currently am going through something like this? let me know and until next time stay safe everyone, this pandemic still is hitting people hard, mentally, physically, and monetarily.